We are coming up on two very tough days for me. One, Mother's Day and two, Abigayl's birthday.
I have been trying the whole out of site, out of mind thing for mother's day but last night all the emotions surrounding that day hit so hard. I remember last year at this time I had Abigayl growing in my belly. I could feel her kick and move and I loved watching her twist around in there. Mother's day last year, Rusty sort of forgot that I still qualified as a mom (even though the baby was in my belly) and I was excited for this year because I would have a baby to have by my side to show that I was a mom.
Well, I have a baby but she sprouted wings and flew to heaven. I don't have her by my side to hold and show off. So mother's day is a bit painful for me. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I should do anything for that day or not. I guess we will have to see how I feel on that day.
It brings out so much emotion, that I guess I have suppressed, because as we draw closer to the day.... there are more tears and more anxiety.