First, I want to say happy mother's day to all of the moms out there. Old moms, new moms, expecting moms and mothers who know the pain of losing their child. I know this is a day full of joy for some and strong emotions for others.
Rusty was sweet enough to bring me some very pretty flowers and a card this morning. Then he took me to breakfast before I went to church to work in the nursery. The best mother's day gift I received today was the chance to hold some very sweet babies in the nursery. Both little ones were 3-6 months old and it was so nice to feel a little baby curled up in my arms.
Granted, neither one felt like it did with Abigayl but it was such a comfort to hold a baby again. It made me sad that I couldn't comfort them the way I could Abigayl. She knew who her mommy was and no one else would do. These little guys were much the same and I did my best.
I have had a pretty rough day past that. My day has been spent in my bed with the tv on to distract me. I'm looking forward to a new and fresh day tomorrow. I am ready for this day to be behind me so I am able to move on to the next.
I want to thank all of you who sent me kind, uplifting words today and the days leading up to today. Knowing that I have an army of people that care about me and this situation is very comforting. Especially because I know that it is your prayers and kindness that pull me through my rougher days.
I have cried MANY tears today but I know that tomorrow will hold better things and that I will be able to push on. Until then, I have laid it all in God's hands so that he can take care of me.