I'm melting....

It is amazing what a couple of hours can do to snow! It is melting at warp speed. Soon, the only thing we will have to show of the white stuff is the GIANT puddles of water in our yard. Welcome to Lake Stamper!

Miscellaneous

Yay!!! We bought a new door mat for our front door today. So much better than the yucky, worn out, straw thing. I would say that is an improvement. (scroll to March 22nd to see the original)

This is the same view as yesterday, March 28, amazing what a difference 24 hours can make!

Sledding... or would it be best to call it mud flinging?!

Yesterday Rusty's sister brought up her 3 kids to go "sledding". Here in Oklahoma, where there are virtually no hills, you "sled" behind a 4-wheeler or some other form of transportation.

Seeing that we had A LOT of rain Friday, the snow was sitting on inches of rain. Therefore, the "sledding" turned into mudding. The sled would skim the top of a huge clump of mud and mud would end up on all the faces of those choosing to participate. So, Rusty's sister, Tiffaney, and myself were the only ones to not become mud covered.

Rusty getting ready to pull Justin and Jason through the mud/snow/water puddle.

(Thankfully all of the pulling happened in our back field. Otherwise, our front yard would have been rut city like the back field. I don't like mowing rut city so Rusty gets the joy of mowing the back field this summer)

Justin and Jason

Cliff getting ready to pull his brothers. Ended up that they both got off of their sleds and headed for warmth.

Cliff's turn to have mud flung in his face (not that it mattered whether you were driving or being pulled, you got muddy either way!) Rusty drove him around.

This was our driveway come 5 pm. Slush city. Thankfully it did not freeze over night.

Snow in March..... blek

Oklahoma weather is a funny thing. For those of you not from Oklahoma, it is probably not something you pay attention to. So, let me fill you in on the craziness. Just last week we had 80+ degree days. The last couple of days have been thunder, lightning and rain. Even this morning we had thunder and lightning that turned into hail. Now, it is an absolute white storm of snow! Beautiful but not wanted! I was ready for spring temperatures!!

Plus, we have satellite television so the dish went out. Too bad we didn't have anything on DVR. Now we are sitting around bored.

Just now, while typing this, there was a big, long thunder boom to go along with this wonderful snow! CRAZY.

(click on the picture, it makes it easier to see how hard the snow is coming down)

3 Months

Well, I had a doctors appointment today (Lizzy I miss you... I hate that I won't get to see you) and he said that he would like Rusty and I to wait 3 months before trying again. So, in the mean time I have purchased the P90X DVDs and plan on Rusty and I getting into rip roarin' shape over the next 90 days.

I know you all want to see my rolly polly before pictures but I am not brave enough. Maybe... just maybe I will bring out my 30 day pictures when I get there. We shall see.

So, for the next 90 days or so I will be getting in to the best shape of my life (hopefully) and getting my body ready to carry a sweet baby full term.

Oh yes it's ladies night.....

Jill, Katie and I all went out for a nice night... just us girls! It was so much fun to sit around and talk. Plus, the food was sinfully delicious! I'm hoping this can be a once a month thing! Just maybe dinner at a home to save some money!!

Easy and YUMMY dinner

Last night I made my sister-in-laws recipe for french dip sandwiches. I think it is up there for one of Rusty's favorite meals. And, it is so EASY!!!

All you need: Deli roast beef, favorite cheese (I use provolone), hoagie buns, butter, au jus packet and 3 cups of water.

I preheat my oven to 350. Butter both sides of the hoagie bun. Then pile on roast beef (I put 3 slices per sandwich). Pop it in the oven for 10-15 minutes so the bread is crusty and the meat is warmed through.

In the mean time, put au jus packet contents into a sauce pan and whisk in 3 cups of milk. Boil over medium-high heat.

When sandwiches are warmed and crusty, slap on a couple slices of cheese and pop back in the oven until cheesy is gooey and melty.

Voila... yummy sandwiches.

They are SO good and SO easy. It is my go to meal if I don't have a lot of time.

Then just dip away. It is great. I am so glad my sister-in-law made it when I was up in February. Now I make it pretty often.

Flowers, Flowers Everywhere

Slowly but surely the front of our house is coming along. We have been flower crazy around here and I wanted to show you what we have accomplished so far.

This is the planter by the door.

Yes, we need a new entry mat! One step at a time people. Next year I want to replace the green planters with black ones (our shutters will be black soon and so will the wicker furniture on the porch).

Roughly what we want the pond area to look like. There will be Hydrangeas all around the rocks, I hope (if my green thumb works the way I want it).

This is the section next to the pond. We bought the flowers today but Rusty had somewhere he needed to be so there wasn't much done in the yard today. Hopefully by next weekend it will be complete!

The one section that is done! This is sort of what the picture above should look like soon. First Rusty wants to run the gutter system under the flower bed and into the yard. That is what all the black hose is for.

I have some work to do on Abigayl's garden. So far this is what it looks like. I am waiting to see how many more hyacinth come up. Then I will fill in the gaps with more pretty flowers and some mulch. There is another row of hyacinth coming up behind the first row. They smell absolutely AMAZING.

This is the progress so far! I can't wait to share the finished product! Once the flower beds are complete, I think it is going to be mandatory to move onto painting. YIKES!!! I'm not looking forward to that part. But it needs to be done.

Rock It...

Rusty has designed a new, beautiful flower bed for the front of our house with a pond and waterfall. So, today Rusty moved the rocks around to build the waterfall portion of the pond.

Rusty has collected rocks from neighborhoods where he has done some rough-ins. Some of the rocks are from a particular neighborhood and have a great holey look. He wanted to use those ones because then the water would have a place to come out with out drilling and look very natural.

Moving the 2nd rock into place. I didn't think to take pictures until the first one was in place.

This one had a great look for the top rock and the one that would let the waterfall flow.

Rusty had to carefully stack one rock onto the other. It was tough but he is super man so he did it.

Here is our new waterfall!!! It is WONDERFUL. I can't wait to see the pond under it. If weather permits, Rusty wants to dig the hole tomorrow!

I hope weather permits!

Last thing we have left to do after the pond is finished is the landscaping. He already completed 1/3 of the bed and I think the pond will take up about 1/3.... so not too much more to go! I will try to post pictures of the finished portion of the bed because he did an EXCELLENT job.

After tackling this flower bed I think we will have to work on Abigayl's memorial garden. It looks rough compared to the professional job Rusty did on the main flower bed.

Good job honey.... your the greatest. I love you!

Fireproof

I didn't realize it was OSU orange until it was too late. Needless to say, my husband wants a polish change!

Katie invited me to go with her to get a pedicure yesterday and it was absolutely WONDERFUL! It was at this little salon on Main street in Broken Arrow called Anna Christy's. Well, they take us back to this quaint, little room that was away from anyone passing by and staring (I'm not used to that, I go to the massive 10 chair row salons!) She offered us a Chi tea and it was so delicious... I'm going to have to buy some because I think I need to drink it every day.

We sat and chatted and sipped our Chi tea while this wonderful lady worked magic on our feet. Katie and I were in the middle of talking about Fireproof and other Christian movies when all of a sudden Katie let out this little scream. First I thought she was crazy and just needed to let out a little holler then I realized... no, that wouldn't be right. I didn't realize what was going on until the nice lady asked if I was okay. Why wouldn't I be okay? It felt lovely soaking and having my feet made pretty. Soon to find out.... I had been on fire!!! Just a little and it didn't hurt.

Katie told us what had happened because she was the only one to see the whole thing. She said that when the pad was dipped into the nail polish remover, the flame (from the candle sitting dangerously close to the flammable remover) jumped up and caught the pad and the rest of the remover in the top of the bottle on fire. Then she came at my toe with the ablaze pad (I think then my toe was either on fire or looked as though it was on fire because the pad was so close to it, I don't know though, you would have to ask Katie!)! When Katie screamed the frightened lady realized what was going on and threw the wicked cotton into my relaxing foot soak. I probably would have continued to be on fire if it wasn't for Katie's life saving scream. Now I owe Katie my life. I just wonder when she is going to ask for repayment.... mmm, I will have to ponder that further.

Fire or no fire, I still had a wonderful, relaxing time. Girl time is always so nice. She talks and I talk, then there is all the laughing.... it's blissful. Absolutely blissful.

Zoorific

Yesterday I spent the whole day at the zoo with friends and their families. It was so much fun!! The weather was perfect, around 80, and it was buzzing with lots of people. Not only did I get to see a bunch of great animals, but they also had a petting zoo! So, I was able to go in and pet all the farm animals. It was glorious. Plus, it was so much fun to hang out with friends and enjoy the beautiful day together.

There was this absolutely adorable baby chimp. I think I could have spent the whole day just watching him.

So, instead I took a bunch of pictures of him to share with all of my on-line friends.

He and his daddy were playing, it was so cute to watch them roll around and rough house.

I waited long enough, I finally got a good shot!

Then there was the polar bear. This guy would swim to the end of his pool and then back to this corner, where he would climb up on the rock and turn around to swim back the other way. Well, when he climbed up on the rock, he was basically against the glass! It was cool!

My wonderful gal pals! Thanks ladies for letting me join in on your family fun!

One word to sum it up? Perfect!

Music

I finally added music to my blog! So, turn up your speakers and enjoy. The songs on my play list are songs for Abigayl, songs to praise God and songs that represent me and Rusty's relationship.

Anger

Sitting in church, listening to the sermon, I realized that I have heard this verse so many times and have quoted it too many times to count. Though, I never realized how deep it really does go. Anger is a part of life, but (as pastor Roger put it) we shouldn't attack a person in anger but we should address the real root of the problem. Communication is the key to getting past ANY problem.

Ephesians 4:25-32
So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another.
Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
and do not make room for the devil.
Thieves must give up stealing; rather let them labor and work honestly with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy.
Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption.
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice,
and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.

It is okay to feel anger. It is not okay to be sinful because of that anger. Finding a solution is the key. Life is too short to stay angry. You never know when you are going to lose a person.

Part of why this all hit so close to home (besides the obvious loss) is that while dealing with the MANY emotions I have learned to accept, anger is the toughest. The smallest thing can anger me, I am having to learn to control that, and realize what I am actually angry about.

Defeat

Today started out so good. I woke up and showered immediately (which is difficult for me on days I'm not working) before heading out to run errands. Well, neither of my errands turned out the way that I wanted them to and I got lost to boot. I hate getting lost. When I say I hate getting lost.... I mean I HATE getting lost. I don't like the way it feels and it almost puts me into a panic. I know... I'm weird. That's okay though, I've come to terms with my weirdness.

Its just that, it started out so good then turned so horrible. On my way home I just broke down. The small fact of getting lost then neither of my errands working out absolutely crushed me. I felt so defeated. It then opened up the waterworks. So, I spent the afternoon eating junk, not felling well and just watching TV.

It's okay though. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe I will gain more strength tomorrow.

A Sad Ending....

Last year while pregnant with Abigayl, I subbed at a school for one week. In that one week, I met the most fantastic woman (I am proud to call her a friend) and I also found my professional calling.

(For those of you who do not know me, I graduated in 2006 with my BS in Biology. After college I had no idea what to do. Originally I wanted to be a pharmaceutical rep but found that it was very hard to get in to. After working for a company for a year and finding the hours and stress of the job to demanding on us newly weds, I left to became a homemaker/soon-to-be-mom. So, it wasn't until last year that I knew what I wanted to be.)

Skip ahead a few months, I ran into my friend one day (while meeting another friend for lunch, it was a God thing and a whole story in itself) and we were playing catch up. I told her about Abigayl and the tragedy that had taken place. She informed me that she thought of me when she found out that a sub was needed in a science class at my favorite school but she knew I had a baby. She gave the teacher my name and number and voila... I was subbing for a science class.

Well, the original plan was for ~6 weeks (including Christmas break) but she had complications that made it to where she had to be out longer. Though I hated that she was in pain, it was nice to know that I had something to get me out of bed and dressed every morning. I have been in the class now for around 3 months (except surgeries, snow days and my trip to AK). Being a teacher is one of the most rewarding things next to being a parent. I have grown to adore those kids... even the naughty ones (and there were a few of those!).

Unfortunately (fortunately for the teacher), today was my last day. It was so sad not knowing when I will be back in that building getting to see those wonderful kids. I am so happy though that the wonderful teacher is healed up and getting to be back in HER classroom. I am thankful that everything turned out well. I am so thankful for the time I was able to spend with the kids and for the experience I was able to gain. Most of all though, I am so thankful for the relationships I was able to build with the teachers around me. There are some fantastic people in that building and I look forward to being back.

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.

Though I am dealing with a lot of pain in my life, God made sure I had something great to look forward to. I was given an opportunity through him to help heal me slowly. Though I will never be completely healed, I am surrounded by loving people that lift me up daily. Through working at the school I have formed friendships that I hope last through many years and many children.

The teacher I subbed for gave me these flowers as a thank you. In all actuality, it should have been me to send her thank you/get well flowers.

I also received so many notes, cards, pictures and even a flower from the kids. I am going to miss them SO much.

These are all the notes, pictures and cards.

Not only did I receive all of these wonderful things, but I also was surprised by a little party with one of my classes. A couple of students in coo hoots with a teacher planned out a little surprise. They brought in cup cakes, cookies and soda for the whole class. It was so special and so appreciated. Thank you to all of my new friends. It has been an absolute pleasure working with you and teaching you (to the wonderful students).

Flowers from Alaska

This morning Rusty went out, to what I thought was to get the paper, but came back with a box in his hands. My mom surprised me with these beautiful flowers.

Thanks mom! I love you.

Okay

As most of you know, I went in for surgery today to have a D&C. We found out Wednesday that the pregnancy was not viable and that a miscarriage was inevitable. To save us more heartache my doctor thought it would be a good idea to have the surgery rather than wait it out.

The silver lining in the scenario, the surgery was not what we were expecting at all. We both assumed that it would be like the one in December (laproscopic) but it turned out that there was no cutting involved. Therefore, other than being tired and having only a little discomfort, the recovery should be pretty easy on us.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers. You will never know how much it helps us to know that there are so many people lifting us up. I am blessed to have you all out there as friends and family.

Blessing

At 3:30am, I woke up to the most amazing dream. It was bittersweet at first but amazing. I dreamt of my beautiful Abigayl and it was SO real. When I woke up I had to remember that it was just a dream. It took everything in me not to run to her nursery to check on her.

In my dream, we were eating out a restaurant. I picked her up to put her in her carrier but I decided to carry her while Rusty carried the carrier. We got in the back of some one's SUV and it was really hot for what she was wearing. She was in a pair of her footed pj's with snaps up the front and wrapped in a blanket. So, I laid her on the seat next to me and I was unwrapping her and unbuttoning her pj's, saying, "who wants to be the nakey baby?" like I used to before bath time and whenever I would change her clothes. She smiled at me with her big gummy smile. So I started kissing her neck, right under that fat cheek she had. And she smiled at me every time I did it and giggled a little. I then looked up to the people who were driving and I said, "I need to make her a doctors appointment, she hasn't been back since her 4 month check up and they told me she would probably pass away".

That's when I woke up. I think when I woke up, it was hard for me because she DID pass away after her 4 month check up. She wasn't just in the other room. I had to come to the realization that I will only get to hold her in the dreams I am blessed with until the day I can meet with her in heaven.

I'm just so thankful that I was finally able to have such a vivid dream about her. It felt so real getting to hold her and kiss her. It was such blessing since today is filled with a little more heartache.

Pretty Flowers... Wonderful Friend

I was so shocked when the door bell rang yesterday (we have a gate that you have to jump to get through if you don't call first) and I found a lady with these beautiful daisies. Thank you to my sweet friend, Katie, who made me smile on a very tough day.

Another Disappointment

Rusty and I went in for another ultra-sound today because last week we didn't see a heartbeat. Unfortunately, there was no heartbeat this week and the baby had not grown at all since the last ultra-sound. Therefore, the baby is not viable and I will eventually miscarry.
My doctor suggested that instead of waiting, what could be weeks, for my body to miscarry and to avoid a lot of pain (physically and mentally) that he goes ahead with a surgery. So, on Friday I will go in for an out-patient surgery. We just ask for your continued prayer.