Thanks Gary and Patty

My mother-in-law and father-in-law gave me this beautiful butterfly necklace for mother's day. It is absolutely special because I think of Abigayl every time I see a beautiful butterfly. It was the most fitting gift I could receive on that day.

Thank you so much... it was SO thoughtful and very much appreciated. I love you both.

Happy Mother's Day

First, I want to say happy mother's day to all of the moms out there. Old moms, new moms, expecting moms and mothers who know the pain of losing their child. I know this is a day full of joy for some and strong emotions for others.

Rusty was sweet enough to bring me some very pretty flowers and a card this morning. Then he took me to breakfast before I went to church to work in the nursery. The best mother's day gift I received today was the chance to hold some very sweet babies in the nursery. Both little ones were 3-6 months old and it was so nice to feel a little baby curled up in my arms.

Granted, neither one felt like it did with Abigayl but it was such a comfort to hold a baby again. It made me sad that I couldn't comfort them the way I could Abigayl. She knew who her mommy was and no one else would do. These little guys were much the same and I did my best.

I have had a pretty rough day past that. My day has been spent in my bed with the tv on to distract me. I'm looking forward to a new and fresh day tomorrow. I am ready for this day to be behind me so I am able to move on to the next.

I want to thank all of you who sent me kind, uplifting words today and the days leading up to today. Knowing that I have an army of people that care about me and this situation is very comforting. Especially because I know that it is your prayers and kindness that pull me through my rougher days.

I have cried MANY tears today but I know that tomorrow will hold better things and that I will be able to push on. Until then, I have laid it all in God's hands so that he can take care of me.

Trying to be strong....

We are coming up on two very tough days for me. One, Mother's Day and two, Abigayl's birthday.

I have been trying the whole out of site, out of mind thing for mother's day but last night all the emotions surrounding that day hit so hard. I remember last year at this time I had Abigayl growing in my belly. I could feel her kick and move and I loved watching her twist around in there. Mother's day last year, Rusty sort of forgot that I still qualified as a mom (even though the baby was in my belly) and I was excited for this year because I would have a baby to have by my side to show that I was a mom.

Well, I have a baby but she sprouted wings and flew to heaven. I don't have her by my side to hold and show off. So mother's day is a bit painful for me. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I should do anything for that day or not. I guess we will have to see how I feel on that day.

It brings out so much emotion, that I guess I have suppressed, because as we draw closer to the day.... there are more tears and more anxiety.

Iron Man

Last night Rusty hooked up the surround sound. To test it out, we watched Iron Man. WOW!!! AMAZING!

First, the movie is incredible. I didn't know what we were missing out on. I'm really glad that we finally watched it.

Second, I am so glad he bought a surround sound. It was so good that at one point it vibrated our shelves and knocked a picture over!

I don't think we will see many movies in a theater now (not that we did any way) but at least now our movie viewing quality is better at home!

Tagged by Sarah...

What's your current obsession?
I think I always have an obsession with shoes... they always fit no matter what.
What's your weirdest obsession?
I don't think I obsess over anything else. I'm pretty boring! I guess just so I have an answer down I would say reality tv... I'm a total junkie when it comes to that.
What are you wearing today?
Khaki pants, my new tank from AE that has purple flowers on it, denim jacket and purple ballet flats.
Why is today special?
I'm teaching at the 6th grade center... which is always great. The kids make my day when I'm there.
What would you like to learn to do?
Quilt... that way I can make neat things like Joyce does. She is so talented with her quilting skills. What's the last thing you bought?
My new camera!!
What are you listening to right now?
Sixth graders chatting... since they finished all of their work.
What's your favorite weather?
Sunny and 75-80 with no humidity
What's your most challenging goal right now?
To lose weight so I can have my ideal body before we get pregnant again.
What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Sarah is fantastic. She loves the Lord and sets such a great example of what I strive to be. She is strong and patient.
What's your favorite guilty pleasure?
Most anything with sugar in it! I love dessert A LOT. (hence why I have a hard time losing weight)
Favorite vacation spot?
That is a toss up. Two of my favorite vacations were Disney World and our summer trip to Alaska when we went 4-wheeling.
What would you like to have in your hands right now?
My baby girl...
What would you like to get rid of?
My really bad body image
If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
My bed to take a nap
What language do you want to learn?
German... then take a trip to Germany.
What super power would you like to possess?
Flying... no more traffic! Plus, I wouldn't have to pay airfare any more!
What your favorite thing about the city you live in?
It is the perfect place to raise a family and it is very convenient.
What's your favorite piece of clothing in your closet?
My jeans... I love wearing jeans.
What's your dream job?
I'm already doing it! I'm a stay-at-home mom and wife. But, I want to teach when our kids are in school.
If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?
Shoes and/or clothes
Do you admire any one's style?
Rusty's cousins. They have the bodies to pull off everything. They always look cute.
Describe your personal style.
I don't know. I wear jeans and shirts... not really t-shirts but shirts that hide my tummy. I love ballet flats and flip flops but I like them to have a lot of color.
Who's fashion show would you want tickets to?
7 for all mankind
Who's closet would you like to raid?
Carrie Underwood
What are you most proud of?
My husband and my daughter. My husband shows strength every day and provides me with so much love and support. I am so proud that we brought Abigayl into this world. She is such a blessing and I am so proud to be able to call her my daughter.
If you could choose one person who had passed to have lunch with who would it be and why?
My Abigayl... just to have that opportunity to get to hold her and feed her more solids would be so fantastic. I would love to just have a few moments with her. I know that I only have a small amount of time to wait until I get to spend eternity holding her.

Okay, it's your turn Carrie, Rachelle and mom! (Katie you were tagged by Sarah but if you didn't catch hers now is your time... you too Kristin!)

New Camera!!

It has been a pretty wet but fairly exciting weekend! Rusty won some money this weekend. So, he gave us each a little for spending money! I chose to spend mine on a new camera and he spent his on a surround sound speaker system.

It was win, win for both of us!

This is my new camera (I used it to take a picture of the box!)

Can you tell I'm happy?! I have wanting a new one for a little while. I'm not much of a photographer so I just need a simple one that takes clear pictures. I'm so happy to be done with my 4 mega pixel camera and upgrading to a 10 mega pixel! Plus, it has smile recognition. So it waits until there is a smile before it automatically takes the picture. I LOVE it so far!

This is Rusty's new toy. He bought a surround sound system. I can't wait to hear it!! It sounded great in the store so I'm sure it will be FANTASTIC!

Rain, Rain... Go AWAY!!

For the past 3 days it has rained for a good part of the day. I woke up this morning and it is still drizzling. I guess the drizzle is better then the monsoon we have had in the past few days.

I know, I know.... "April showers bring May flower".... yadda, yadda, yadda. Also, I know that now our lakes and such will be full so we will have lots of water. But still, I think I could swim in my backyard.. and we don't have a pool.

I think we get sunshine tomorrow (fingers crossed) then rain again on Tuesday but it should be clear for the rest of the week! Hallelujah!