Praise God

I just have to praise God for directing Rusty and I to First Baptist Church of Owasso. We started attending FBCO about 2 years ago when we first moved in to our house. We found it because the family that lived here before us had a yard sign from the church at the gate. I have always attended a baptist church, so we decided to go for it.

We joined the church a couple of months before I delivered Abigayl. We didn't attend a Sunday school class, we only went to the worship service. After Abigayl was born, there were so many women who reached out by bringing over meals and calling to see if I needed anything. When Abigayl passed, the out pour of kindness that has come from absolute strangers has been amazing. I have been out to lunch with so many great women and we have been able to go have dinner with other couples. It has been an absolute blessing for me because I don't have any of my family in Oklahoma, I have few friends and I am a stay at home mom who's sole purpose everyday was to care for Abigayl.

By leading us to such a great church, he lead us to a great Sunday school class and me to a wonderful Bible study group.The women that God has lead me to through this terrible time and a time when a great support group is needed, has been incredible. I have met women that I hope will remain my friends for years to come. These women make me laugh and let me cry, which in turn, gives me strength.

Field Trip

Today I was a substitute for a 2nd grade class that was scheduled for a field trip. Yeah for me (I don't mean that sarcastically), I got to go in place of the teacher. We headed to Rogers State University, in Claremore, to their nature conserve. It was really nice to walk around the wetland, pond and nature trails and see the kids look at all the trees, birds and turtles.

We went inside so they could learn about insects. Mr. Blake, the instructor, taught them the life cycle of a lady bug by teaching them a "disco" dance. It was the cutest thing. Then they looked at beetles in the larva stage, pupa stage and as adults. It was really neat to see a group of girls touching and holding all the bugs in their different stages. I was happy that they didn't act all "girly" about it!

All-in-all it was a pretty great day. The kids were fantastic. It was nice to get out into nature and breath in the fresh air. Plus, I learned some new stuff. Did you know that when a frog has a tail and legs it is in the poly wog stage? Pretty neat, huh?

(sorry there are no pictures of this outing either, I didn't think to bring my camera for a class I didn't know)

Pretty good weekend!

We had a pretty good weekend! We had dinner Friday night with a great couple from our church. They have a 2 year old and 5 month old (born ~2 weeks before Abigayl). It was a great dinner with great conversation. We were able to play with their 2 year old and they were kind enough to let me hold their 5 month old. It was what I have been needing. I can't tell you how much my arms have ached to hold a child. He is such a sweet boy and he made so many sounds that reminded me of Abigayl. It was such a great night!

Saturday, I went shopping with my grandma and had some lunch. It was really nice to get to see her and now I have a dream camera in mind! She bought a camera that has red eye elimination and a setting that can fix imperfections in faces!! So, thankfully Christmas is right around the corner!! Saturday night we went to our neighbors house for a Halloween party/hot dog cook-out. Rusty was Clark Kent (very handsome with the black hair and all) and I was a Snow queen. I was so glittery I probably could have lit up the night sky if you shined a flash light on me!! It was a nice time and fun to get dressed up. (I will have to post pics later when I get the disposable cameras developed)

Sunday we went to church, then to see Abigayl. It never gets easy going to visit her. I had a really hard day Sunday. For some reason I just couldn't stop the tears. It's hard to be hurting and not be able to do anything about it. Normally, I love to look at her pictures and watch her videos, but yesterday it was just to hard on me. After visiting Abigayl and crying for a very long time, we had dinner at his sister's new house. Delicious food and the house looks great!

All in all, it was a pretty good weekend. We miss Abigayl everyday but there are some days that are much harder than others. Sometimes I wish I could bring her back. But, that would not be fair to her... I know that Heaven is WAY better than here. I just lover her so much and sometime it's really hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that she is really gone.

Abigayl's Memorial Garden

Over the weekend we planted Abigayl a memorial garden. Our neighbors brought over a basket of mums. We used the ones that received from everyone and went and bought a bunch more. We also planted crocus bulbs and Hyacinth bulbs so that in the spring we will have some beautiful flowers popping up. Also, we want to plant a couple of evergreen trees so that we can decorate them for her at Christmas.

Abigayl's Flowers

Well, I don't know if this is pc or not. But, I just wanted to share some pics from Abigayl's viewing.

This are some of the flower that Abigayl received. She had so many flowers that they moved her from a viewing room to the chapel so they could all be around her.

We put some pictures up and put out the two albums that I had filled. I am thankful for the amount of pictures I had taken. In Abigayl's 4 months we had 400 photos.

3 month photo session at MK Studio

If you live in the Tulsa area and are looking for a GREAT photographer, please call Melina at MK Studio (918-521-8803) She does amazing work. She is not only a great business woman but she is a kind, sweet person to deal with. She really helped me organize things during the most difficult time in my life. She not only photographs babies and families but she also does weddings and engagement pictures. You can check out her website at: www.mkstudio.smugmug.com . For any of the family members that want to order prints of your own, you can contact Melina and she can get prints made for you.

These are the last pictures that we had done with Melina. It was Abigayl's 3 month portrait session. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Her Halloween costume.

After 2-3 outfit changes and LOTS of pictures she was ready to be done!

Tough day...

So, today has been the one of the toughest days I've had. Everything made me cry today. Normally I really enjoy looking at all of Abigayl's pictures but today it was really tough. I miss her so much and I long to hold her.

I did some research on S.I.D.S (sudden infant death syndrome) yesterday. I found that there is NO known cure or cause. It is not linked to genetics, race or gender. I did read that it is instantaneous. The whole body shuts down at once, there for, there is no pain or suffering. That is very comforting. Also, there is no stopping it. Even if I would have been sitting there with her I wouldn't have been able to do anything to save her. I hope one day researchers will find a cure/cause so that we don't have to lose our children to this anymore.

San Antonio

This past weekend Rusty and I took a trip to San Antonio. I forgot my camera so until I get the pics developed from the throw-a-way camera I don't have any goodies to post. We got into San Antonio Thursday night, thanks to Rusty's super great driving!

Friday, we went to Prime Outlet. Talk about the best outlet stores I have ever seen!!! I couldn't afford any of it but it was great! They had Off Saks 5th Ave, Last Call Neiman Marcus, Barney's and best of all (the only one I could afford) Victoria's Secret!! I was in shopping heaven. After shopping and eating we drove to the the river walk downtown. It was really pretty down there. Lots of walkways, bridges and waterfalls also tons of restaurants, shopping and people. We walked up and down for a while then headed over to the Alamo. It was pretty cool. (I think I need to brush up on history though)

Saturday, we hit Six Flags, which is down in a canyon type thing. All around are big stone walls. It was really pretty. I wussed out on all but two rides. I know... I'm a chicken. Normally I'm so brave when it comes to coasters but I couldn't do it this time. I ate lots of food though. So, that made me happy! Rusty was super brave... he had to ride most of them by himself, I am such a great wife though, I stood in line with him ; )

Sunday was the best day of all! We went to Sea World. I LOVE animals. So this was the best park I have EVER been to. We got to see Shamu and three other spectacular orcas. They jumped and played. At one point the trainer was being pushed (orca nose to human feet) through the water then the orca jumped 15-20 ft in the air with the trainer standing on his nose! It was the coolest thing ever. We also watched a beluga/dolphin show. One of the beluga whales had a baby.... it was so little and cute. Also, there was a seal, walrus and sea otter show. It was a really cute comedy skit. All around it was the greatest day.

We really missed Abigayl the whole time and really wished she could be there with us. But, we enjoyed watching the reactions of all the kids around us. At one point, Rusty won a huge stuffed fish, so he gave it to a little girl that was eyeing it. It will be things like that that will make us feel like she is there with us.

Thank you

I just want to say thank you to everyone that has kept us in their thoughts and prayers. I know that it strengthens us more and more every day. I ask that you please continue to pray for us for the weeks and months ahead. I feel that those may be the toughest until we find our new normal.

For anyone wanting to attend the viewing, the hours are from 9 am - 9 pm both today and tomorrow. Rusty and I plan to be there all day, both days. We were able to see her last night and she looks beautiful. I can only imagine that she is the most beautiful angel in heaven and now she is smiling down on every one of us.

Memorial Service

We made the arrangements yesterday. There is a viewing Saturday and Sunday with a memorial service on Monday at 12:30pm. Gary and Patty are having a reception after at the family center. All of the events are at Floral Haven in Broken Arrow.

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers. They are really helping us through these tough times.

Loss of an angel

I am so sad to say that our sweet baby Abigayl passed yesterday. I know that she is in Heaven smiling down. She will be forever loved and very much so missed. I just ask that you pray for our family in this time of memory and reflection. I know it will be a long, painful road but that we are never faced with more than what we can bare. Just please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.